New year, same old life?

Nothing has changed much, everything is changed! happy new year:) lets go down the memory lane. how did your last year start? For many of us it was better, for many of us this year was better. Are you a better person now? So you like the same things as you did last year? Same ice cream flavor? Same artist? Or do you still have the same friends? Do they treat you the same? Have you lost some one? or met someone that is now really important to you? Made mistakes? Mad dreams come true? Did you make someone happy? or sad? Made tough decisions? Said things you now regret? Realized you were wrong about someone?Forgave someone? Trusted someone? Been deceived? Fell in love, fell out of love? Realized you were wrong? Admitted your mistakes? Learnt something new? Did something you thought you will never do? Lost a friend? Did someone say you changed their life?
     Whatever you did, you can't change it now. You can't go back to relive the best moments! what you can do is just cherish the memories and learn lessons from the past. Do not make the same mistakes again. Forgive people that have hurt you. People never realize how much healing power there is in forgiveness itself. I had read it somewhere that if you forgive the person who has hurt you it makes you feel better, its easier to move on after that. I have been there so I know how it feels. After all it makes you a better person. So learn to forgive this year and see how you will feel all better. At the most sad times of your life just know they won't last and don't give up hope. hope for a better day, a new sunrise, a new day. Every day you get is a blessing. Every single moment of your life is precious so don't waste it. do something that you love. Write down your dreams, you will be surprised by your own wishes and then if you have a chance to make them true make it. You want to go and tell someone how much they mean to you? just go and tell them now. You never know if you will have another day or the other way around. Things might change in just a few minutes, hours or seconds! have you ever thought every single time  you breath there are numerous people dying, babies being born! lives are changing this very moment.
There are many things I could have done to make my life better now. but its too late, when I had a chance  I let it go thinking some other day. but that day never came. Sometimes life just gives you one chance. the chance we don't take. This all has been done this year. I made someone happy and the feeling I got is indescribably nice. I forgave someone who had hurt me badly, that made me feel better myself. At the farewell of our school I met many people I wish I could have said that i'll miss them.I trusted someone and got to know how wrong I was. Expected way much from my best friend who changed, now I wish I can go back to the happiest times of my life. however being only 18 at the moment I have my whole life to live. But I wont forget this year as all the things I mentioned above happened to me. The answer to all those questions is yes for me. I am happy where I am. I did lose people and gained none but now I know that life is just beginning. This year i'll try to be who I am inside. I won't change for anyone. I'll speak up for myself for now or someday I'll have to speak. I will try not to hurt people intentionally, I have no grudges against anyone whatsoever. I will follow my heart always, its always right..and my conscience. i'll be thankful to God for the life I have.. I will try to follow my dreams and not to do the same mistakes I did.
In addition to this I will always be true to myself. I'm ready to face everything that life throws at me. so 2012 here you are and lets see what you've got on store for me!

Failure to a new start!

Today I am here sitting and thinking have I wasted my last few years of school? especially with the wrong people? there were many things I could do, many things I  regret doing, numerous things I wished I had done. plenty of moments I wish I could relive, some things I wish I could take back. I made a few decisions that changed my life. the worst decisions taken at the most bad times of ones life affect them the most later. sigh. Now I know why people say that teenage years are the most significant years of your life. You grow up all this time. your personality is being groomed for life.

My real world started when I was in grade sixth. I failed two subjects that year and it changed my entire life as I had to repeat that year of school, even though it could have been prevented only if my parents could have talked to the school administration however they thought its best for me to repeat. So I did. I had to leave my friends and make new ones. I still remember the first horrible day( as it seemed to be then) people didn't wanted to become my friend, I still wonder why though.I entered my class that first day and saw my ex classmates sister, she came to me and was kind to me. I sat next to her since two seats were joined. Her name was Mishah. Even so the feeling inside could not go. I had to leave my friends just when it was becoming a great friendship with one of my friends named Mehak. She too was sad with what my parents had decided for me. we both couldn't understand why they were making such a big deal out of it. all they had to do was go and talk to the principal and i'm sure I could go to the next class. alas nothing happened and I was taken back to grade 6th. I had all the feelings a child would have when he/she has to leave friends and facing rude comments for that was how it was in my school. children were judged by their grades mostly especially in grade 6th. I knew everything will be changed and since then everything did change. I made new friends. my teacher were kind to me. I made this new friend, Saira who was very intelligent, kind, curly hairs, just almost same height as mine which I don't remember now. fair complexion...however her face had this notion  i'm very rude, don't talk to me.She clearly didn't look like my type. but after some days I realized that she was just my type. we became good friends in no time! I started to enjoy again. I thought that my life had ended but in fact it had just started.Sometimes we feel that we have come to a dead end. but its not like that. everything happens for a reason. its just at that time when its happening sometimes its hard to see any good reason in it. however later it seems like it was all just for our own betterment. That one failure made me a new person. it showed me that there is more to life than it seems. We should never give up hope. For I had only hope of a better future and I did get that. Now I think if I hadn't failed that one year I wouldn't have what I have now. I met the best people in my life cause of it. I got to know the feeling when life doesn't go your way. the feeling of failure itself. people would just say for a sixth grader if was nothing. but let me tell you it was everything!! the start of a new life.
( to be continued)